I'm just sayin'

Heart Attack – Schmart Attack

on November 21, 2012

Years ago when my family lived closer to each other we spent Thanksgiving Day together. Distance and work schedules make that nearly impossible nowadays. However, some of those Thanksgiving stories will live on forever, such as the one with my brother ending up in the hospital. Not for food-gone-bad kind of thing nor did we have any Jerry Springer moments. It could have happened to a lot of people. Really. I think.

Picture the family sitting around the living room sighing with their belt buckles undone, barely able to move after the feasting on enough food to feed a family of four for a week. You know all the Thanksgiving traditional foods, turkey with an abundance of gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, soft chewy rolls, you name it it was there. As if that wasn’t enough it’s topped off with pumpkin pie served with a heaping dollop of whipped cream. There wasn’t much conversation at this point, just a couple of barely audible grumblings, ” Oh man, I ate tooooo much.”  As we lingered in the living room the little kids went off to jump on beds or something. We didn’t have enough energy to get up and tell them to stop. At least not right away. At some point my brother did excuse himself saying he was going to check on the kids. That was nice of him! However, after about 15 minutes we all noticed he hadn’t returned. I rolled off the couch and went to see what he was up to.

I found him in the bedroom laying on the bed, complaining of chest pains and how hot it was. He told me, ” I ate too much.” Well, who hadn’t? But no one else was sweating like a flagman in Phoenix. He was so uncomfortable he had concerns and decided he should go to the hospital. I offered to drive him, his wife would stay with the kids. Within 30 minutes we arrived at the emergency room – we were not the only ones there on Thanksgiving. We waited along with other over-stuffed looking patients. After about an hour of our emergency room waiting experience a doctor saw him. The doctor examined him, asked questions and determined that my brother had just over-indulged and his gall bladder was protesting. A nurse gave him a shot to relax something and they sent him home, which was back to my place, they were staying the night. I got us home safely and everyone was asleep by then. So, we too retired for the night. But not the whole night because the phone rang at 3 a.m.. It was Dr. So and So. He said that my brother’s blood work had come back and he should return to the hospital RIGHT AWAY. Holy moly, I hurried to wake him and off  we went to the ER again. I had no idea what could be the issue. The hospital won’t give that kind of information over the phone. When we arrived they took my brother immediately into an examination room and told him his blood work indicated he was having a heart attack. WOW. That’s what the chest pains were about? We were really surprised – no personal or family history of heart disease. The doctor recommended he stay over night for observation and was told the cardiologist would make his rounds early in the morning around six.

I left my brother at the hospital and went home to tell his wife ( she stayed with the little ones). So in the morning we were waiting for a call to let us know what was going on. Eight o’clock went by. Then nine o’clock. By 10:00 a.m. we said that’s it, we’re going to the hospital. We all piled in the car and went to the hospital, all the while imagining the worst. When we got there and found his room he was fully clothed on top of the bed watching some Cheech & Chong movie.

We immediately started asking questions; “What did the doctor say?” “How long you in for? “What happened?”  We all stood there waiting to hear the prognosis. My brother looked at us and said, “They got the wrong guy. They weren’t my test results.” Our mouths dropped open, we looked at each other and began to laugh. Only this could happen in our family; a fake heart attack. We remember this story every year as we gorge ourselves, AGAIN. However, we still wonder about the guy whose blood work showed HE was having a heart attack. What happened to him? Is his family remembering the Thanksgiving when dear old dad was treated for a gall bladder issue when in fact he was having a freakin’ heart attack? Really, where is that guy today? I’m just sayin’.


PS – I think heaping dollop might be an oxy-moron… maybe.


2 responses to “Heart Attack – Schmart Attack

  1. Pamela Van Gelder says:

    Only could this happen to you and I know which brother this was and WHY didn’t he call you right away and let you all know what was going on, or what maybe he was going to do that after he finished his Cheech and Chong movie.

    • VirgoVoice says:

      WHY? didn’t he call? ’cause he’s a guy would be my guess. I will add, it was before days of cell phones. But I’m sure he was enjoying the peace and the movie. Plus,he got out of Thanksgiving clean-up!!! 🙂

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