I'm just sayin'

Which Jobs For You?

on June 27, 2012

I am so thankful there are people in the world that want to do a job I do not want to do, but are necessary to life as we know it today. Like the guy who crawls under houses to remove dead animals. I’ve wondered how many jobs can a guy get in a day to remove dead animals from crawl spaces or attics? I have never had to ask someone to do that in my whole life. And I’m closer to the end of that life than closer to the beginning. I’ve never even had a friend say to me, “Hey, we’d love to come over for that barbecue but we’ve got to get a dead animal out  from under our house.” But I know there’s a guy out there who is just waiting for another call for deceased animal removal. And I am very happy he exists.

But I’m not sure bagging up dead animals is in the same category as a bovine artificial inseminator. Really city folks, there’s someone who does that on a cattle ranch. It’s a guy or gal who dons a latex glove that goes all the way up to his elbow and he proceeds to, well, you know, inseminate the cow, almost all the way to the crook of his arm. If you’re a ranch person this seems like nothing. I’ve seen guys walk along the back end of the cows chatting it up with other farm hands while doing their job. I’ve seen it done. I really didn’t really want to witness it. Well, maybe there was a little bit of curiosity. But once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it.  So, I’m thinking here, when other kids are talking about growing up to be a fire fighter, a police officer or a nurse, the future inseminator is thinking, what? “I can’t wait to inseminate a cow.”  I’m hoping it’s the money that’s the attraction in that job.

Actually, I am grateful to all the people who can do anything medically. Or anything that has to do with bodily fluids or functions or blood or ripped flesh. I can’t even change a diaper. Well, at least not without gagging or getting the dry heaves. If  has an unpleasant odor, a runny consistency or looks like poop, I’m outta there. And yet, I’ve picked up dead bodies from a morgue and later styled their hair. Isn’t life funny?


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