I'm just sayin'

I am not afraid…

on June 8, 2012

…of snakes. I just don’t particularly care to be surprised by them. Recently, I had a day full of errands and was trying to stay on schedule. But a four-foot long snake had other ideas. The slimy creature parked itself halfway under my truck, just under the driver’s door. I almost stepped on it because I was focused on the bird nest atop my motion detector light fixture. I don’t like to disturb the mama bird, a black phoebe, on her nest because she flies away each time I come and go from that door. So I was looking up walking to my truck when the bird saw me and flew off, just narrowly missing my head. I ducked quickly, almost losing my balance. Wow, that was close, I thought. Then I focused more on just getting in my truck when lo and behold I saw the snake. My two dogs were oblivious to it. I thought that was weird. Anyway, I shooed the dogs back into the house and I followed. 

Like I said, I am not afraid of snakes, I just want to know they are around, close by, in my vicinity, in my yard, my driveway. I just want to keep my eye on them. So, I stood and watched the snake from my screen door. I wanted to know which way it was headed. Well, it didn’t move. At all. We we’re having a standoff. I think it was not going to move if I was nearby. But I didn’t want to leave because if it moved I wanted to know where it went. Then I got the bright idea to call animal control – which I have on speed dial because of dead coyotes on my property, injured birds, found turtles, lost dogs and well, you get the picture – so, I dial up the animal control and listen to my choices to select the right department, dead animals, stray animals, wild animals – I’ll take that one. I get an animal control officer and tell her I have a snake in my driveway that is just hanging out. She asks me to describe it and I tell her I think it’s a gopher snake. She says, “Oh, we don’t come out for gopher snakes.” Hummm “What kind of snakes DO you come out for?” I asked. “We don’t come out for gopher snakes,” was her reply. So there’s a clue here. If you want animal control to remove a snake from your property don’t tell them it’s a gopher snake. 

After about 10-minutes the snake started to slither verrrrrry slowly under my truck eventually making it’s way under the other vehicle in the driveway. That total move of about six or seven feet took that snake approximately 15-minutes. I went out the front door so I could watch from the top of my driveway so I would know when it was clear to move my vehicle. That’s how I figured it to be four-feet long. It was as long as the wheel base on my truck. I do not know where it went but the terrible gopher problem we had has been minimized. Though, I repeat, I am not afraid of snakes or low flying birds, but I admit I do not step out my door, front or back without sticking my head out first and looking both ways; up and down.


Watching it through my screen door.


5 responses to “I am not afraid…

  1. Noele Parente says:

    My house would be on the market 🙂 HATE snakes!! Things shouldn’t move without legs…

  2. VirgoVoice says:

    Well, this guy didn’t move fast. I was pretty sure I could out-run it. Pretty Sure!

  3. Rose Rodriguez says:

    Next time call back, get someone else on the phone, play dumb and tell them that the tail end is making a strange noise…

    • VirgoVoice says:

      I mostly was in a hurry, so once it started moving I thought “oh, this’ll work.” I just didn’t realize it was on it’s I’m-in-no-hurry schedule! And really, let’s hope there is no next time!

  4. Anna says:

    I like your writing style! 🙂 I liked how you described the catagories of departments when you called A. Control, like dead animals, stray animals, etc.


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